October 8, 2005

Sue,

I'm sure you've heard this before, but I just wanted to thank you for the work that you are doing to change the face of addiction.

I grew up in a very good and loving family. My parents have been married now for 57 years, and they love each other and their family very much. I was this beautiful skinny little girl with long pig-tails. I was a straight A student. I won awards and spelling Bees at school. We went on family vacations and of course our weekly "Sunday Drive". The family would pile into my uncle's station wagon or his van when he had one, and we would take a road trip to someplace different each week. We have some great old 8 mm movies that we've transferred to DVD that we can watch and laugh at of us all growing up. Every holiday we would all get together and have a great time. Today, we still do. Christmas dinner at my mother's house is still a full sit down dinner with the good china, crystal and gold ware. Turkey and all the trimmings, exchanging gifts and playing board games. About as perfect a child hood as anyone could ask for.

So, why am I here. In my early teen years, the age of 'experimentation', I started drinking and doing drugs with my friends. I didn't know anything about the "Disease of Addiction". I had no idea of the horrible power that was being unleashed. I spent the next 21 years of my life chasing that high. I went from an A, honor roll student to being kicked out of high school for being a discipline problem. I ran away from home on several occasions. Not because it was bad there, because I thought that the party life was more exciting. Over the years, I got involved with many men, had 3 children, and the whole time continued to use. My children were eventually taken away from me. Fortunately, they were placed with my parents. Where they would receive a lot of love. In the end, I found myself alone, homeless, prostituting on the streets just to maintain. I was treated horribly by society. Like an animal. People would kick me if I were sitting on the side-walk, like I wasn't worthy of being considered human. I was so afraid. During this time, I went to many Rehabs, detoxes, hospitals, institutions and jails. Finally I couldn't do it any more. I prayed to God to let me die. He had better plans for me.

I found a way out. I've been clean now for 9+ years. I did this by following a few suggestions that were given to me by other addicts in a 12-step program. By no means was it easy, but it was easier than maintaining that life-style. I now have my 3 children back and I am doing a great job of raising them. I've married a wonderful man and we've had a child together. I have a good job, I pay my bills, and if you were to see me walk down the street today, you would never know of the past life that I lived. I am involved in my community, and in my children's education. I try to love them and show them a good life. I know that won't make them exempt from falling prey to this disease. I just hope they learn from what I've already been through.

I find myself sitting here now. Typing my story on a computer in hopes of helping someone else who may find themselves where I've been. We no longer have to tolerate the old lie "Once an addict, always an addict". You see, we do recover.

Laurie D.